Home > Journal 4th Issue > Searching

By: Nikki

As of right now, I’m stuck in a dark place where all I feel is depression. I’m back in jail. I left this place to get back into this monster called crystal. She tore me back down, brought me into the world of horrible decision making, and the numb feelings. My problems never go away, they always come back.

I’m searching for hope and an ending to all the depressing feelings I feel. I think, “I’m searching for freedom from all the demons that keep tearing me apart.” For the day I can look back and smile. I’m searching for a way out of my own fucking head.

I’m terrified of what is to come. I’ve lost a lot already. I’m losing a lot right now. There’s a lot of things I don’t  understand. Why do bad things happen to good people? I’m searching for my protector to save me from the demons inside of me.