My Education and My Future:
I’m Only 15 and I’m Pregnant
By: Torieauna Hilbert
I never considered having a baby at this age. I guess you can say I wasn’t responsible. When I should have been thinking about my education, I was thinking about boys. Too busy being cute and hanging out is what got me in trouble. I had lots of boys liking me, so many that I couldn’t keep count of them all. I thought it was cool to be one of the girls that guys always wanted. The game was to play hard to get. To get what I wanted and to not get caught up. The truth is, I did get caught up.
He was always coming around, calling, and telling me how much he missed me. He said he loved me and that he would always be there for me. I believed him because I was having his baby. He made it sound so real. I just wanted to be happy. I thought I was in love, but I wasn’t ready to have a child. The only thing I was thinking about was being with him and how we were going to raise the kid together.
But I never thought I would have to take care of a baby by myself. I thought having it would make him love me even more. With no money and no job, how was I going to take care of a child?
I was just a young girl, pregnant without an education. I should have known better. I wanted to hang out, to do what everyone else was doing. Drinking, smoking, getting high and having fun just hanging out with my friends. See what you get when you think you know it all? I was supposed to be smart but I wasn’t smart enough to keep my legs closed.
I am still young. Having a baby will not stop me from doing what I want to do. Certain things may have been put on me because of how I live, how I was raised, the things I see, the people I talk to, the places I go, and the things I choose to do.
My family did right by me. They told me what to watch out for. They told me to be careful. But I didn’t listen. I always said I knew what I was doing. I even got mad at them. But you know what? They were right. I should have listened.
Life is always going to take us somewhere but we need to be smart enough to know where we are going. I still have a chance to go back to school, to get an education, and to make a better life for myself. Boys are now just a thing of the past. I can’t change the past, but I can do something about my future. The things boys want to talk about are not more important than my sense of self.
It’s about me and my future. Not only am I sorry about what I let happen, I’m also disappointed. My out of control and disrespectful behavior have taught me a lesson. Now I realize that I can’t do those things anymore.
All my friends are still out there having a good time. They don’t have to worry about carrying a baby for nine months and a lifetime afterwards. I wish I had never gone down this road. I was addicted to hanging out because it gave me a sense of freedom. It wasn’t like I didn’t have anyone to care about me because I did.
I thought running the streets was more important than going to school. It’s easy to say I didn’t know what I was doing, but I knew right from wrong. I tricked myself into believing that I could think like a woman. Can a young girl think like a woman? Some people might say yes, but I say no. That’s because we don’t have the experience.
Since I can’t go back and change the past, I have to continue on with life believing in myself. I have to have confidence that I can make something of my life.
If only I had known what it meant to listen, I wouldn’t have had this baby at such a young age. I didn’t have the mind for people telling me what to do, including my parents, Oh, I heard them alright but it went in one ear and out the other. I was moving too fast to see that I was headed for trouble. Who wants to stay around the house and do nothing? That was boring to me and it wasn’t my idea of fun.
Little Miss Know It All, I wanted to hang out with my friends. I thought I was all that and then some. Thinking like that is what got me in trouble. Look at what happened to me, I got myself pregnant. I went out and slept with a boy not thinking about the consequences. I had a choice in doing what I did. Wrong Attitude, no experience with life, trying to be a woman before my time.
I think about what’s really important to me now. Finishing school, pursuing my dreams, being successful with my career. What I’m really trying to say is this: Don’t let the streets, having a good time, or chasing materialistic things get you. This is my story and I’m sharing it with you.
Look at your life and where you are now. Get an education, sail with your dreams and never forget that you can be anything you want to be. I’m speaking to a lot of young girls out there my age.
Education can bring success and the promise of a good future. Hold on to the dreams of your destiny.
Looking back now, I never considered having a baby at 15. It’s not cute. It’s not responsible. And it was not in my character. Be encouraged by good advice. It’s about your life, your dreams, and your future. Please don’t let what happened to me happen to you.
My name is Torieauna Hilbert and I am 18 years old. I am from Los Angeles, California. As you can see I haven’t had an easy life but the most important thing to me was never giving up. There were many times in my life when I felt that all my hope was gone but I was determined to succeed. I came a long way from being a teen mother, doing drugs, and sleeping in cars. Through it all, I never lost my faith because a breakthrough was bound to happen.That’s why I encourage any young person to just follow your heart no matter what.